So, I belong to Paperback Swap, this online swapping community of--you guessed it!-- books. One feature of the site is you can set it up to list available books of certain genres.
My chosen genres are 'arts & photography', 'home & garden', and 'body, mind & soul'. You know; chick stuff.

Anyway, the current list is... interesting:

"The Carbohydrate Addicts' Diet"
"When Food is Love"
"Married to Mommy?"
"Murdered Innocents"
"Conquer Fear"
"Exercising Your Ex"
"If This is Love, Why Do I Feel so Insecure?"
"Dwarf Rabbits"
"The Divided Self: An Existential Study in Sanity and Madness"
"Your Pregnancy Week By Week"
"The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"
"Why? Trusting God When You Don't Understand"

I think I'll just watch a video...

For some reason, it costs $15 to get into the Phoenix Pride festival. There was a very long fenced-in area between buying the tickets and the entrance. It felt a little like an outdoor airport. I was told the ticket was to pay for next year's festival. I didn't know what to think of that, coming from the free-for-all hippy attitude of Chicago Pride festivities. My neighbor bought hers online, thinking it would be cheaper, but she ended up paying more than i did in person. And she was working one of the booths, so why she paid at all was a mystery I decided not to explore. I don't know if I'll go back tomorrow.

The house-wreckers have left the door and a staircase,
now leading to the empty room of night
-Charlies Reznikoff

Stepping into the field, sadness fills my deep heart.
Bundling rice sheaves, tears dart in two streaks.
Who made me the ferry's leaving?
Who made this shallow creek that parts both sides?
-Ho Xuan Hu'o'ng

A town in Washington is offering free rent if you're willing to open a grocery store. I'd do it, but I'd offer weird stuff like fresh cilantro, goat's milk, blue potatoes, and organic free-range meat. I'd offer lots of organic produce, good beer, wild rice, zattar spice mix, fresh baked bread and other crazy stuff that would put me out of business in a week.

What's up with all this conspicuous childbearing? One woman adds octuplets to her already 6-deep brood, another couple has 18 kids and counting, another has octuplets and a reality show of their freakish lives. Remember when Apu had 8 kids? It was a cartoon!

Is this a new trend? Does one child trigger a family tragedy? Is there shame in ONLY two? Is 3 now considered "a good start"? The only analogy I can think of is a factory: The quality of each, er, 'product' isn't questioned because all the focus is on sheer numbers. That's what happens at feed lots, you know. Is there a new quota these hyper-fertile people are privy to, while the disgusting parents of less-than-a-basketball-team broods are woefully failing to fill?

Or is it; if science allows us to do this batshit crazy thing, we should not only do it but celebrate each ridiculous event, regardless of the long-term physical and emotional effects it might have on the kids.

It's part of my theory that these 'culture of life' types are really fertility maniacs. They are throwbacks to the very beginnings of humanity, where fertility was worshiped in dark caves.

Is life in quantity really a celebration when its quality is so threatened?


LJ doesn't recognize 'octuplets'. Some of the suggestions are catapults and exploits.

P.s. This reminds me of a girl I knew in junior high, who was determined to get married by 18 and have as many kids as humanly possible. It was her identity. I wonder where she is now.

Up until now, for the last 8 years or so, seeing the President made me sneer, I instantly reacted with strong distain. Now..? I've got to work on it.

First order of national business: PUPPY!

ETA The new Prez is "Reviewing the troops." A military marching band prances by, all Revolution-era decked out. Maybe the first order of business will to update the military.
Just sayin'.

For some reason, Phoenix really hates abortion. Not enough to outlaw it like South Dakota, but in a conspicuous way, with late-night commercials for websites that decry the procedure. I guess they think women who are unhappily pregnant are staying up late watching reruns of Sex and the City or That 70's Show. Yes, sometimes I watch those terrible shows but I am not pregnant. (It's my form of birth control and it works like gangbusters.)

I'm talking about a website called Virtue Media. The homepage features a rosey-cheeked cherub and a happy mix of ethnic families. And tellingly there's a link for donations that says "Unborn babies saved for as little as $35/a life!" In their world a fetus is priceless, but once babies are outside the uterus, they're worth about as much as a nice meal. There's also a curiously edited factoid: "Americans spend 4 years of their lives, just watching commercials!" With a helpful picture of a bewildered tiny baby supposedly captivated by a TV. Virtue Media is a PR campaign that aims to influence people with deceptive advertising. I'm troubled that they are taking such a serious matter to such an anonymous level. Though its really not much of leap from the fools who protest in front of clinics. They're trying to pressure and terrorize people they don't know with guilt and gory pictures of dolls covered in red corn syrup. Now Virtue Media has taken it to a new level, and they're figuring out a way to get paid for it. I suppose their next phase will be to stamp out other forms of birth control like the 'morning after' pill and Norplant. I don't understand why they don't use their resources to help children and families already here. It is savage. It makes me want to volunteer at a Planned Parenthood.
I wish I could figure out a way to get paid by pressuring people to care about the environment, demand affordable housing, or use their turn signals in traffic.

I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION that if you find yourself shipwrecked on a mysterious island paradise (i.e. Lost, HR Pufnstuf) with me, it would be best to kill me quickly. I suspect I would gladly kill someone if they are not contributing to the group's survival. No time for slivers, heatstroke or malaria; help us dig a latrine! No room for romantic triangles, secret scientific projects or chatty flutes; there's jellyfish to harvest! Shirk your duty and you'd best sleep with one eye open.

Or, I might be a total wimp and loser who sits under a coconut tree and cries and gets sunstroke. Then a coconut falls and hits me on the head and everyone has a much needed laugh.

On the other hand, I fully supported individual coping initiatives taken by the residents of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. If society can't or won't help you in a disaster, you are free to wade home with as much beer, candy and cigarettes as you can carry.

One thinks strange things when they've been roaming the internet all night.

So this gym's offering a free 30-day membership if you donate a can of food to their food drive. I went in there today and got weighed, measured, and had my Body Mass Index calculated. It turns out I'm 95% fat!

So yeah, I'm gymming it up for the next month. I will go Olivia Newton-John on EVERYONE.

Okay, so this is late but I'll post it anyway.

I went to my dad's house for Thanksgiving and ate the jucyiest turkey ever, cooked in Dad's newest Thanksgiving technology: the infared cooker. I scritched his rambunctious dogs' ears. I watched The Usual Suspects and enjoyed it.

I'm thankful for my families support, my friends friendship, my cats' cattiness.

Now I'm going to try convincing my Mom into letting me foster some rescued puppies. Because PUPPIES!!

My phone was starting to give out, so i ordered a new one on Tuesday. The pleasant customer service lady said I'd get it by early next week, but it came today! So adorable! I am looking forward to dropping it, subjecting it to the washing machine, and any number of indignities. Thanks, underpaid Chinese assemblers!

HERE COMES YOUR MAN.

I wish I was in Chicago tonight.

EDIT: But really I'm just glad to be in America, for the first time in many long years.

There's nothing like clothes-shopping to drive home the point that you are the fattest you've ever been.

I just mailed in my ballot this afternoon. It was nice to sit down last night and do some careful studying of the candidates and the Propositions. I admit I feel just a little bit proud right now. I'm letting myself get excited for Obama and -who knows- maybe he'll take McCain's home state? Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants?
After I dropped off my ballot at the private mail store that had angel charms and crucifix wind chimes (eep!), I bought a syrupy coffee beverage. Because participatory democracy isn't for sissies, but sugar and caffeine have been known to help.

and much better than from a shlub like me. Yes, it's been a while since she was nominated; what can I say, I'm slow.
Gosh, that Sarah Palin really isn't VP material, is she? I'm saddened that so many people are saying; "Yeah, she's a reasonable candidate for the second highest office in the country!" I'm rather insulted by this.

Noodle and Nut Enthusiast

Psych Psych: Journal of Hypochondria

Penny for Your Thoughts: Insurance Adventures and True Tales of Billing

Memories in the Corners of My Mind: Titles That Start Out Kinda Good but Go Nowhere

Search and Seizure: Epilepsy and Law Enforcement

It's Friday afternoon. I got no plans for the weekend. My room mate (Mom) is working nights so I can't do anything noisy around the house while she sleeps. I might buy a pair of rubber shoes at Target and then return them just to have something to do.
Okay I won't do that but it's funny.
I saw a picture of the new Entertainment Weekly, with the Colbert/Stewart parody of the infamous New Yorker cover. I thought, "I could hop on the purple line and go buy that at the newsstand in Evanston..." Oops. I'M NOT THERE.
Okay that's all for now. Buy US war bonds! Turn in your tires and silk stockings! Grow that victory garden!

I read there on the internet that a German Shepherd dialed 911 to save his human who was having a seizure. Is there any thing these dogs can't do?

(The unsurprising answer is NO)

For the most part I am excited and happy about this move back to Phoenix.
But... There are little moments of panic, as in "How could I quit my job, break my lease and drag my little cats to a strange place?" or dread, as in "Who would want to hire me? Are there any gay people in Phoenix? Is Sherrif Joe Arpaio still making county jail inmates wear pink and eat green baloney sandwiches? (answer: yes)"
There are moments of disbelief that I'm leaving Chicago after 14 years. How can I be leaving in 3 days? Well, I have to go, because I've already mailed all my shoes.