So, I belong to Paperback Swap, this online swapping community of--you guessed it!-- books. One feature of the site is you can set it up to list available books of certain genres.
My chosen genres are 'arts & photography', 'home & garden', and 'body, mind & soul'. You know; chick stuff.

Anyway, the current list is... interesting:

"The Carbohydrate Addicts' Diet"
"When Food is Love"
"Married to Mommy?"
"Murdered Innocents"
"Conquer Fear"
"Exercising Your Ex"
"If This is Love, Why Do I Feel so Insecure?"
"Dwarf Rabbits"
"The Divided Self: An Existential Study in Sanity and Madness"
"Your Pregnancy Week By Week"
"The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"
"Why? Trusting God When You Don't Understand"

I think I'll just watch a video...

Our gentleman zeroed in on the suspicious-looking man at the next table. He was wearing the robes common among elders of north African cities, but what concerned our gentleman was the telephones he wore as shoes. They were old rotary dial models, large and sturdy, and the receivers were missing. Was this the contact he'd been seeking? The telephone-shod man was openly agitated, fussy, argumentative with the wait staff and passersby. He knew something and was bursting to tell it: Not the best demeanor of a spy.
Our gentleman gathered himself; he had to take his tea with the companions placed on his path. He hoped the tiny boils covering his face and neck wouldn't put off the already agitated man. Time was too short, the mission too urgent to waste on superficial concerns.

For some reason, it costs $15 to get into the Phoenix Pride festival. There was a very long fenced-in area between buying the tickets and the entrance. It felt a little like an outdoor airport. I was told the ticket was to pay for next year's festival. I didn't know what to think of that, coming from the free-for-all hippy attitude of Chicago Pride festivities. My neighbor bought hers online, thinking it would be cheaper, but she ended up paying more than i did in person. And she was working one of the booths, so why she paid at all was a mystery I decided not to explore. I don't know if I'll go back tomorrow.

For the record:

You can be a lifelong virgin, but you still know which gender quickens your heartrate.

The house-wreckers have left the door and a staircase,
now leading to the empty room of night
-Charlies Reznikoff

Stepping into the field, sadness fills my deep heart.
Bundling rice sheaves, tears dart in two streaks.
Who made me the ferry's leaving?
Who made this shallow creek that parts both sides?
-Ho Xuan Hu'o'ng

Watched parts of a shocksploitation episode of Oprah. She's asking a Ohio family of heroin addicts soft questions like, "Is this the dream you had for your kids?"
Back story, the Dad got hurt at work. The doctors prescribed progressively more powerful pain relievers and muscle relaxants including oxycodones, then he made the switch to heroin, which he and others say is cheaper and more effective than the legal stuff. I wondered why the mother and kids got into it as well. I don't know the answer because I got a little irritated so I changed the channel.

So the big question is,

How can the same problem happen to two different people, but one person restores their lives and go on, while the other one is destroyed for the rest of their days?
Discounting external perks like rich relatives, property crimes and just dumb luck, what's the difference?

Educated people fail, spiritual people fail, people from liberal and conservative families fail...

I think there are no guaranteed formulas that protect people from a life of addiction, permanent poverty, violence and marginalization. But I think a strong friend & family network is a pretty good start. People who won't stay away when you tell them to leave you alone, people who offer you their last dollar with no strings attached, people who offer to take your kids for the weekend while you go for that big interview in another city, people who will take your weepy phone calls any time with no complaints. They are the people who will give you the reason to say "no thanks" to self-destructive behavior. That's assuming we had the good fortune to grow up with good role models who demonstrated healthy life skills. That also assumes that we as adults are choosing to be around healthy people and getting away from unhealthy ones.

I know cliches like 'role models' and 'life skills' can be grating but this is a big part of my job now.

I believe we have advanced to this point not because because of religion, capitalism, science or democracy, but due to what we sometimes disparage as our 'herding instinct'. For the human species socialization quite literally saves our lives. This is a proven scientific fact. You can feed a baby, protect it from the elements and disease, and keep its diapers changed but if you don't hold it, speak gently to it and interact with them, it has up to a 50% chance of death.
There is something in our structure that constantly scans our environment for other human beings, knowing that our survival chances is significantly improved if there are other human beings around.

What do you think? What prevents any of us from falling into destruction when trouble comes our way?

Well, besides satellite tv. That's a given.

A town in Washington is offering free rent if you're willing to open a grocery store. I'd do it, but I'd offer weird stuff like fresh cilantro, goat's milk, blue potatoes, and organic free-range meat. I'd offer lots of organic produce, good beer, wild rice, zattar spice mix, fresh baked bread and other crazy stuff that would put me out of business in a week.

What's up with all this conspicuous childbearing? One woman adds octuplets to her already 6-deep brood, another couple has 18 kids and counting, another has octuplets and a reality show of their freakish lives. Remember when Apu had 8 kids? It was a cartoon!

Is this a new trend? Does one child trigger a family tragedy? Is there shame in ONLY two? Is 3 now considered "a good start"? The only analogy I can think of is a factory: The quality of each, er, 'product' isn't questioned because all the focus is on sheer numbers. That's what happens at feed lots, you know. Is there a new quota these hyper-fertile people are privy to, while the disgusting parents of less-than-a-basketball-team broods are woefully failing to fill?

Or is it; if science allows us to do this batshit crazy thing, we should not only do it but celebrate each ridiculous event, regardless of the long-term physical and emotional effects it might have on the kids.

It's part of my theory that these 'culture of life' types are really fertility maniacs. They are throwbacks to the very beginnings of humanity, where fertility was worshiped in dark caves.

Is life in quantity really a celebration when its quality is so threatened?


LJ doesn't recognize 'octuplets'. Some of the suggestions are catapults and exploits.

P.s. This reminds me of a girl I knew in junior high, who was determined to get married by 18 and have as many kids as humanly possible. It was her identity. I wonder where she is now.

Up until now, for the last 8 years or so, seeing the President made me sneer, I instantly reacted with strong distain. Now..? I've got to work on it.

First order of national business: PUPPY!

ETA The new Prez is "Reviewing the troops." A military marching band prances by, all Revolution-era decked out. Maybe the first order of business will to update the military.
Just sayin'.

For some reason, Phoenix really hates abortion. Not enough to outlaw it like South Dakota, but in a conspicuous way, with late-night commercials for websites that decry the procedure. I guess they think women who are unhappily pregnant are staying up late watching reruns of Sex and the City or That 70's Show. Yes, sometimes I watch those terrible shows but I am not pregnant. (It's my form of birth control and it works like gangbusters.)

I'm talking about a website called Virtue Media. The homepage features a rosey-cheeked cherub and a happy mix of ethnic families. And tellingly there's a link for donations that says "Unborn babies saved for as little as $35/a life!" In their world a fetus is priceless, but once babies are outside the uterus, they're worth about as much as a nice meal. There's also a curiously edited factoid: "Americans spend 4 years of their lives, just watching commercials!" With a helpful picture of a bewildered tiny baby supposedly captivated by a TV. Virtue Media is a PR campaign that aims to influence people with deceptive advertising. I'm troubled that they are taking such a serious matter to such an anonymous level. Though its really not much of leap from the fools who protest in front of clinics. They're trying to pressure and terrorize people they don't know with guilt and gory pictures of dolls covered in red corn syrup. Now Virtue Media has taken it to a new level, and they're figuring out a way to get paid for it. I suppose their next phase will be to stamp out other forms of birth control like the 'morning after' pill and Norplant. I don't understand why they don't use their resources to help children and families already here. It is savage. It makes me want to volunteer at a Planned Parenthood.
I wish I could figure out a way to get paid by pressuring people to care about the environment, demand affordable housing, or use their turn signals in traffic.

I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION that if you find yourself shipwrecked on a mysterious island paradise (i.e. Lost, HR Pufnstuf) with me, it would be best to kill me quickly. I suspect I would gladly kill someone if they are not contributing to the group's survival. No time for slivers, heatstroke or malaria; help us dig a latrine! No room for romantic triangles, secret scientific projects or chatty flutes; there's jellyfish to harvest! Shirk your duty and you'd best sleep with one eye open.

Or, I might be a total wimp and loser who sits under a coconut tree and cries and gets sunstroke. Then a coconut falls and hits me on the head and everyone has a much needed laugh.

On the other hand, I fully supported individual coping initiatives taken by the residents of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. If society can't or won't help you in a disaster, you are free to wade home with as much beer, candy and cigarettes as you can carry.

One thinks strange things when they've been roaming the internet all night.

So this gym's offering a free 30-day membership if you donate a can of food to their food drive. I went in there today and got weighed, measured, and had my Body Mass Index calculated. It turns out I'm 95% fat!

So yeah, I'm gymming it up for the next month. I will go Olivia Newton-John on EVERYONE.

Okay, so this is late but I'll post it anyway.

I went to my dad's house for Thanksgiving and ate the jucyiest turkey ever, cooked in Dad's newest Thanksgiving technology: the infared cooker. I scritched his rambunctious dogs' ears. I watched The Usual Suspects and enjoyed it.

I'm thankful for my families support, my friends friendship, my cats' cattiness.

Now I'm going to try convincing my Mom into letting me foster some rescued puppies. Because PUPPIES!!

My phone was starting to give out, so i ordered a new one on Tuesday. The pleasant customer service lady said I'd get it by early next week, but it came today! So adorable! I am looking forward to dropping it, subjecting it to the washing machine, and any number of indignities. Thanks, underpaid Chinese assemblers!

HERE COMES YOUR MAN.

I wish I was in Chicago tonight.

EDIT: But really I'm just glad to be in America, for the first time in many long years.

There's nothing like clothes-shopping to drive home the point that you are the fattest you've ever been.

I just mailed in my ballot this afternoon. It was nice to sit down last night and do some careful studying of the candidates and the Propositions. I admit I feel just a little bit proud right now. I'm letting myself get excited for Obama and -who knows- maybe he'll take McCain's home state? Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants?
After I dropped off my ballot at the private mail store that had angel charms and crucifix wind chimes (eep!), I bought a syrupy coffee beverage. Because participatory democracy isn't for sissies, but sugar and caffeine have been known to help.

and much better than from a shlub like me. Yes, it's been a while since she was nominated; what can I say, I'm slow.
Gosh, that Sarah Palin really isn't VP material, is she? I'm saddened that so many people are saying; "Yeah, she's a reasonable candidate for the second highest office in the country!" I'm rather insulted by this.

Noodle and Nut Enthusiast

Psych Psych: Journal of Hypochondria

Penny for Your Thoughts: Insurance Adventures and True Tales of Billing

Memories in the Corners of My Mind: Titles That Start Out Kinda Good but Go Nowhere

Search and Seizure: Epilepsy and Law Enforcement